


Big Sister

by CelestialCherryBlossoms



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Barbara-centric, Brother-Sister Relationships, Gen, Jason-Centric, Language, Lots of Crying, Original Character Death(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, What else is new, and sad, barbara is the best big sister, because Jason, brief descriptions of violence, brief nightwing cameo, bruce is only mentioned but still manages to be an asshole, its minor don't worry, jason is hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 19:03:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13014168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialCherryBlossoms/pseuds/CelestialCherryBlossoms
Summary: Jason drops in on Barbara one night after patrol with a stab wound. She soon learns that is not the only damage he is packing.orThe one where Jason falls apart, and it's up to Barbara to pick up the pieces





	Big Sister

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to @Forbidden_Tomatoes for beta-ing this for me. Hope you guys enjoy!

A loud crash above her startled Barbara from the data she was sifting through. Immediately she tensed, alert and on the defensive. Slowly, she wheeled over to the nightstand, grabbed the escrima sticks out of the drawer, and began to assess the situation. Bruce, Dick, and Tim were out patrolling, which meant they wouldn’t be around for a few hours. She should've been the only one in the tower, but the stumbling, heavy footfalls on the roof suggested otherwise.

Nightwing’s concerned voice crackled through the comm. “ _Oracle? Everything alright? It got quiet on your end._ ”

“Wing, I think somebody’s trying to breach the Clocktower. I can handle myself for now, but I’ll keep you posted.”

“ _Noted._ ”

Barbara rolled over to the potted plant next to the bookcase and pulled out the emergency shurikens hidden there. Then, as quickly and quietly as she could, she rolled over to the entrance of the room and pressed herself against the wall next to it. The intruder was close to the roof access point now, and Barbara held her breath as she listened for the telltale swoosh of the hatch opening, and surveyed the thick cables lowering the rooftop elevator. With a quiet ding, the elevator door opened, and Barbara watched as a large booted foot stepped inside. She waited until the figure had completely entered the room and then took a quick swing at his back with the escrima sticks.

“Ow! Fuck, Barbie! That hurt!”

“Who- wait, Jason?!”

Jason turned around and gave her one of his signature smirks, though it looked pained. “The one and only.”

“ _O, report. What’s going on?_ ” Nightwing asked.

“Nothing,” she replied. “False alarm.”

“ _Are you sure?_ ”

Barbara sighed. “Nightwing, I’m sure. I wouldn’t say so if I wasn’t, okay?”

There was a slight hesitation on the other end, then a reluctant “ _Okay._ ”

The comm shut off with a quiet click, and Barbara removed it from her ear. When she looked back up Jason was eyeing her with tired amusement written all over his pale face. “Goldie never really knows when to leave well enough alone, does he?” He huffed a laugh which quickly devolved into a whimper of pain as he clutched his side and doubled over.

Barbara dropped the escrima sticks and was on him in a minute. “Right now I’m more worried about you than Dick. You look awful. Go lie down. I’ll get the medkit.” Jason nodded and with a grimace hobbled over to couch under the clock face where he carefully removed his jacket and body armor before lying down.

“Care to tell me what happened?” Barbara asked casually as she wheeled back over to him, medkit in tow.

“Stab wound. Nothing serious, I don’t think. Hurts like a bitch, though.” He hissed as Barbara set about inspecting the injury. What she found wasn’t too worrisome, but it wasn’t pretty either.

“Looks like your perp got you with some kind of serrated blade, that’s probably why. Along with an impressive amount of blood loss, your skin’s pretty torn up. It’ll be hard to stitch. Let me take you to the cave. Alfred would be-”

Barbara felt Jason go rigid under her hands. She looked up from the wound abruptly. God, he looked like hell. Matted black hair stuck to deathly pale skin slicked in a cold sweat, and dark purple circles stood out prominently under his eyes, which were currently the size of saucers.

“No, please don’!” It came out in a slurred, rushed whisper, but the trepidation in his voice was evident. _Shit. Abort, abort, abort._

Barbara put up two placating hands. “Alright Jason,” she said in as soft a voice as she could muster. “That’s fine. I won’t take you to the cave. But I'm going to warn you; these stitches are not going to be pretty. This is gonna scar.”

Jason chuckled darkly at his hands brushed across a thin scar adorning his neck. “I got plenty of those already. What’s one more, huh?” Barbara narrowed her eyes at the remark but decided to let it slide for now. Her patient was delirious after all. She could talk to him about it later—preferably when he wasn’t bleeding out on her sofa. Instead, she grabbed the disinfectant and redirected the conversation as she began to clean the gash.

“So, how did some poor schmuck manage to shank the infamous Red Hood?” She teased.

Jason tensed again. It took him all of but two seconds to recover, hiding the slip beneath a tired, cocky grin. Barbara noticed though.

“Ah, y’know me Barbie, just got caught up in the heat of the moment. Y’should see the other guy.” She gave him one of her trademark Batgirl glares. “Kiddin’! Jesus, Barb, I didn’ kill nobody tonight. I promised you bats, ‘member?” His speech was becoming more slurred as exhaustion started to set in along with the delirium from blood loss. Barbara moved for the needle and thread and began to sew him up. Jason winced as the needle pierced his skin.

“Sorry, Jay. I’m not the gentlest when it comes to this kind of thing.”

“S’fine,” he grumbled. “I’ve had worse.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” Barb quipped. Jason laughed, but there was no humor in it.

“Yeah, I guess so. Bein’ dead wasn’ so bad though. At least it was peaceful. Nothin’ hurt.”

“Hm.” Babs eyed him warily but finished stitching him up. Everything was silent for a long time. Then Jason shattered it, and his comment had Barbara freezing up on the spot.

“I really wish I stayed dead.”

For a moment, Barbara was too shocked to respond. It turned out she didn’t have to. Jason took her silence as an invitation to continue.

“God,” he choked. Swallowed. “I just- I just wish I never crawled out o’ that godforsaken coffin. At least B still loved me when I was dead.”

Tears began to flow freely down Jason’s face. Barbara sat back, alarmed. Ever since he came back, Barbara had never seen Jason cry. She tried to soothe him, choosing her words carefully.

“Jay, he still loves you, you know tha-”

Jason’s anger exploded at that point, and he sat up sharply. “He even chose the fuckin’ clown over me, Barbara! Do you get that!? The man slit my throat to save the fuckin’ _Joker_! So don’t you dare try to tell me he cares!” The last word tapered off into a muffled sob as the rage subsided and grief overtook him once again.

What? Barbara hadn’t heard about this. Bruce was going to get an earful the next time he came by the Clocktower, and possibly an escrima stick to the groin.

Still, Barbara thought that Jason was making amends with the Bats. He wasn’t patrolling with them as of yet, but the two parties had formed a tentative, but lasting truce. For Jay to be so distraught, something bad had to have happened on patrol.

“Jason, what happened tonight?” she whispered.

The wall suddenly seemed to hold something of great interest, and Jason stared at it intently.

Barbara sighed. “Jay.”

He pursed his lips, then squeezed his eyes tight and murmured, “Someone died.”

“I thought you didn’t kill anybody tonight,” Barbara said, keeping her voice as neutral as possible.

Jason got defensive nonetheless. “I didn’! I didn’ kill nobody!”

“Then tell me,” Barbara insisted in a sterner voice. “What. Happened.”

Jay looked up with wide eyes at her change in tone. There was a war going on in his mind; Barbara could see it written on his face. He was deciding whether or not to tell her the truth.

“Please, Jay.”

Finally, he sighed and dropped his head, and covered his face with his hands.

“I fucked up again.” Jason cried. “I fucked up so bad Barb.”

He halted, but Barbara didn’t prompt or push. She just waited until he was ready to continue.

“I- word was goin’ around that a big deal was goin’ down with Black Mask and Scarecrow at the docks tonight. I went over to check it out and bust it. Everything was goin’ fine, but then- oh god, Barb, they had kids in cages- and they were testin’ out the- the merchandise on ‘em, and I jus’ lost it. I didn’ even notice Crane until the syringe was in my neck and suddenly I was back in that warehouse.” His tone turned frantic. “Sionis threw a grenade and just- I had to get out. I had to. I gave myself the toxin antidote but then B showed up and started yellin’, and I knew I screwed up but he didn’ understand! He didn’ understand I had to get out!”

Barbara didn’t like where this was headed. “Jason, what happened to the kids?”

Jason started hyperventilating as a panic attack began to shake his whole body. “I couldn’-” Gasp. “I didn’ get ‘em out Barb. I didn’ save ‘em!” A fresh wave of sobs racked his frame. “They didn’ do nothin’ wrong, and they died ‘cuz o’ me! B knows it too! They died ‘cuz I couldn’ get my fuckin’ shit together!”

The last semblance of Jason’s emotional restraint fled with a final, agonized cry. He curled up into a ball, face tucked against his knees as if he was trying to block out the whole world. Barbara sat stock still, trying to sort through the feelings of grief and anguish that washed over her as she listened to his story. This wasn’t the Jason she knew. Jason was strong and persistent and determined. Most of all, he was resilient. To see him crying on her couch, looking so small and fragile, seemed fundamentally wrong.

Jason had finally quieted, but his distress was still evident in the violent shaking of his shoulders and the occasional muffled hiccup. Barbara’s hand hovered over the small of Jason’s back, but while she wanted desperately to comfort him, she was afraid that one touch would shatter him.

However, when another particularly loud sob pierced the tenuous silence, Barb’s desire to console Jason prevailed over any lingering fears she had of breaking the boy. He was already broken. Now, he needed someone to piece him back together.

Barbara let her hand drop tentatively to rest on Jason’s back. Jason flinched sharply at first, and she pulled back slightly, but then he leaned into the touch.

“Oh, Jay,” Barbara said softly.

He shuddered as quiet tears still shook his frame. “I’m tryin’ to be good Barb, I really am, but s’like, whatever I do, it ain’t-” Gasp. Hiccup. “-It ain’t ever enough. It wasn’ enough for those kids, an’ it sure as hell won’ ever be enough for _him._ ” His tone was laced with venom and hurt as he spit out the last word—as if it tasted bitter in his mouth.

At that point, Barbara couldn’t take it anymore. She extracted herself from her wheelchair, sat down on the couch, and tugged Jason toward her, pulling him into a firm but gentle hug. He didn’t fight, and when Barbara wrapped his arms around him, he reciprocated, desperately latching onto her like she was the only thing left to ground him. Maybe she was.

“Shh. Shh, Jay. It’s okay; you’re okay.” Barbara cooed in his ear, rubbing her hands up and down his back in what she hoped was a soothing gesture.

Barbara felt Jason shake his head, burying his face deeper into her shoulder. “It’s not, it’s not okay,” he mumbled. “It’s not okay!”

“Jason,” Barbara said softly. After receiving no response, she tried again. “Jason, look at me.”

Slowly, the boy raised his head from where it was hidden. His face was red, blotchy, and tear-stained, and his eyes were filled with deep despair that tore at Barbara’s heart. She swallowed the lump that started to form in her throat. Her tears could wait.

She gently cupped his face in her hands and willed him to look her in the eyes. “Listen to me, Jason. What happened tonight was not your fault. Do you hear me?”

Jason blinked owlishly for a moment as if he couldn’t comprehend what she had just told him. Then he tried to argue, his voice watery. “But it was, Barbara, you don’ understa-”

“No Jay. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t inject yourself with fear toxin; you didn’t throw the grenade. Alright? That was Crane and Sionis. They’re the bad ones here, not you, okay?”

Jason stayed silent, simply staring back at Barbara with a miserable expression on his face. After what seemed like an eternity, he abruptly tore his face from her hands, and instead opted to look down at his fidgeting hands before speaking.

“You don’-” he swallowed thickly. “You don’ really mean that. S’okay, I know I’m bad. You don’ have to pretend-”

“I’m not pretending; I'm completely serious. Crane and Sionis are responsible, not you.”

Jason gave no response and continued to pick at his nails as if he hadn’t heard her.

“Jason, I need to know that you understand me.”

His fingers stopped fidgeting, but he still didn’t speak. Instead, he chewed on his lip before giving a jerky nod. Barbara sighed, figuring that was the best she was going to get, and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Jason’s eyes were still fixed on his hands.

They sat in silence for a long time, Jason hunched in on himself and leaning against Barbara’s side as she rubbed her hand up and down his back and figured out what to say.

“Look, Jay,” she started carefully, watching Jason warily. “We all know how hard you’re trying, and we’re all so proud of you.”

“Not all of you,” Jason muttered derisively.

“Yes, all of us. Bruce especially.”

He’s got a hell of a way of showing it.”

“That’s because he’s a stubborn ass with the emotional capacity of a brick.” That elicited a surprised snort of laughter from Jason. Barbara counted it as a win and allowed herself a small smile. “But you knew that already.”

“At this point, who doesn’t know?” Now it was Barbara’s turn to laugh.

“Okay, yeah. Fair point. But he does love you, Jason. I promise.”

Jason went quiet again for a while. Then he placed one of his hands over the one Barbara had rested on his shoulder and squeezed.

“Thanks, Barb,” he rasped. “For everything.”

“Anytime, Jay.”

After all, what were big sisters for?

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is  here 


End file.
